Who is Sensei?

For the curious, here’s a little bit of background information about me – your humble Sensei…

I started this site after my own divorce finalized and my personal finances lay before me in a smoking (and considerably smaller) pile. I needed to start my own journey of financial recovery and thought this blog would be a good way to capture my learnings as I went, as well as get help by soliciting input and suggestions from others going through their own divorce, or post-divorce financial rebuilding.

Even if you’re not married / separated / divorcing / divorced, this site might be useful for you – either as a series of precautionary tales you can learn from, or – as “trainwreck entertainment”. Because admit it – it’s sometimes fun to watch a hot mess in action.

And for readers who aren’t divorced, but are perhaps considering it? This site might help you at least better understand the financial implications of that decision. I’d never encourage folks to remain in a bad marriage solely to avoid losing money, but you should at least understand the impacts of the decision either way.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t give a shout-out to Financial Samurai – a personal finance blog that I got hooked on while immersing myself in reading about strategies for wealth generation (or in my case, re-generation). Samurai does a great job of bridging the gap between dry financial analysis and relatable human behavior. I’m hoping to work together with him one day – either as a client, or as a guest / contributing writer.

A note about my real identity – I’m deliberately remaining anonymous for now. My divorce was quite contentious and I don’t want anything I share on here to be potentially used against me down the road. I have no desire to bring any unwanted attention to me, or to my ex. And I absolutely don’t want my kids to be exposed to anything inappropriate for their age / don’t want them to needlessly have their parent’s dirty (financial) laundry put on display. So I won’t use any specific identifying information for any parties involved in my divorce, but I will share my own financial scenarios as a means of illustrating my situation and what steps I’m taking to move forward. I hope we can all learn from our mistakes, as well as our plans to rebuild!

That said – what’s my “divorce demographic profile?”

I am:

  • Healthy male, devastatingly handsome, caucasian. i.e. cliche middle age white guy.
  • I have 2 children – one in early grade school, one who isn’t old enough to go to school yet
  • My ex and I share our kids in a 50/50 joint custody agreement.
  • I live in a coastal metro area in the US (relevant for cost-of-living and real estate discussions.)
  • I hold a degree, and have been working full-time in the profession I studied for since graduating
  • I currently earn ~ $220k a year in base salary + bonuses, with additional investment income bringing my total taxable income higher by as much as 2x – 3x.
  • My ex does NOT work. A strategically wise move on her part. More on this later…
  • I am currently renting a house (after being forced to sell my previous house as part of the divorce)
  • I have zero debt (whew!) – I pay off all credit card balances each month, and I save + invest whatever’s left after paying the bills
  • Pre-divorce, I had a net worth approaching <my target goal number> – it’s a number that would’ve allowed me the freedom to no longer feel a need to work for a living.
  • Post-divorce, my net worth dropped by ~85%. The sharp drop in net worth wasn’t completely due to the divorce, but it accounted for most of it – 70%.
  • Now, I’m dusting myself off after a tumble, and am getting back in the game.

Now, your Sensei is in rebuilding mode. If you’re reading this, I’m guessing you are also. Got questions? Suggestions for topics? Check the future topics backlog and let me know what’s missing…

I’ll update this page with further details as appropriate, as I begin my journey back to financial stability. Whether you’re on a similar journey yourself, or hoping to avoid the path I fell on, or even in a position to offer your own insights – I welcome you!




email = sensei @ divorcedojo dot com